17 new images from Prometheus: Theron Butt, RoboFassbender

05.10.12 Written by Vince Mancini

I’m red-green colorblind myself, so this could be a little off-base, but most of the trailers and spots we’ve seen from Prometheus thus far have seemed mostly grey and steel-colored and desaturated. In this new batch of 17 images released at EW, many from the set in Iceland (like the one above), we get lots of vivid blues and yellows. Neat? I mean, I like colors. Also, there’s Charlize Theron’s butt looking all hot in her supertight space pants. In fact, I put this picture at the top because it showed the most butt. That’s an old blogger trick.

After The Avengers and Dark Knight Rises, it seems like Prometheus, which opens June 8th, is the next most-anticipated movie of the summer. But that could just be my love of Robot F. Assbender talking. Look at him, I just want to go everywhere with him, experience the world through his gentle robot eyes.

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Man stabs his computer with a samurai sword because it was full of child porn

05.10.12 Written by Vince Mancini

Most guys I know hide their porn simply by labeling their computer’s porn folder something they know their girlfriends won’t be interested in, like “Reason” or “The Ability to Drive.” But for a 21-year-old man from (you guessed it) Florida, that wasn’t enough, he also tried to stab it with samurai sword. To be fair, his computer was full of child porn and the cops were banging down his door at the time, so you can forgive him for drastic measures.

A 21-year-old Florida man, who just last month was praised for saving his mother’s life with a Samurai sword, was taken into custody this week when he used the weapon to stab his computer as FBI agents raided his home for child pornography.

Well, you know the saying, you live by the sword, you die by the sword, you save your mother’s life by the sword, you stab the child porn out of your computer by the sword. Swords are versatile, I guess is the point.

According to an affidavit obtained by the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Kamil Mezalka was in his underwear when agents arrived at his house with a search warrant and entered when no one came to the door.
Suspected of stockpiling pornographic images of young girls on his hard drive, Mezalka reportedly came out of his bedroom with his hands up when the agents entered and then went back into his room, shutting the door.
The agents followed him, saw him stab his computer with the sword, and took him into custody.

I confess I’m no Steve Jobs, but I’m preeeeetty sure that’s not the best way to delete files.

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RIP Prince Harry The Pygmy Hippo, 2012-2012

05.10.12 Written by Burnsy

We’ve suffered an unusual string of celebrity deaths over the past two weeks, and things were getting pretty depressing. I even tried to convince myself that the aliens that are going to destroy the planet on December 21 were actually taking our best and brightest minds from us to take to the next planet, but then I was like, “WTF ALF? What about me and Kate Upton?” And now, I am sorry to report, it gets so much worse.

Prince Harry, a three-month old pygmy hippo, passed away yesterday due to complications from hernia surgery. I don’t know how many times I have tried desperately to spread awareness of the dangers of infant hippopotamus hernia operations. All for naught, I guess.

The wildlife park is devastated by the loss, especially Prince Harry’s primary caretaker, Toni Inggs. Harry was a beacon of hope for the ranch that was trying to boost the population of the critically endangered species. Prince Harry will be missed by those who took care of him and by the countless fans all over the world who fell in love with him during his brief life. (Via Pawnation)

You may be thinking, “Burnsy, you’re both sincere and handsome, but this isn’t movie news.” And I suppose you’re right, and you’re a sweetheart. But I am using this opportunity to implore Hollywood to tell Prince Harry’s story. Tell the world that this baby hippo, rejected by his cruel bitch of a mother, lived, damn it. Also, the part of the hippo’s trainer should be played by Kate Upton.

After the jump, please remember our favorite pygmy hippo.

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Jon Hamm To Star In The Baseball Story Nobody Remembers

05.10.12 Written by Burnsy

Last year, Disney hired screenwriter and actor Tom McCarthy to write the script for a film based on the strange but inspiring story of two Indian men who won contracts to pitch for the Pittsburgh Pirates on a reality TV show. And the choice seems great because McCarthy wrote Up and if that movie didn’t make you turn into a human sprinkler system, then you might be a robot.

As for this new project, Million Dollar Arm tells the story of Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, who were discovered through agent J.B. Bernstein’s crazy TV competition idea to turn Indian cricket players into Major league Baseball pitchers, with the winners receiving $1 million contracts with the Pirates. Playing Bernstein, who looks like this, is Jon Hamm in his first leading role.

Bernstein repped top talent, but was burnt out and disillusioned until he watched the cricket game on late night TV and noticed how similar the game’s throwing motion was to that of baseball pitchers. He headed to India and wound up hatching the reality show Million Dollar Arm and auditioning 40,000 hopefuls. He brought back the two 19-year old finalists to the U.S., but it wasn’t as simple as signing with a ball club and heading to the minor leagues. (Via Deadline)

Singh and Patel had never traveled anywhere before, so they had to get used to America before they could play. I assume that involved eating pizza for every meal and Google searching Kate Upton for 17 hours a day. They were also the first ever Indian-born professional baseball players, so they faced a lot of media attention. Fortunately, they signed with the Pirates so no one cared.

I won’t spoil their inspiring stories if you’re looking forward to this film, but remember how you already knew that the Oakland A’s didn’t win the World Series in Moneyball? This is way worse than that.

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Frotcast 99: Miley vs. Miley, Hot Goss, & Laremy Talks Dark Shadows, The Avengers

05.10.12 Written by Vince Mancini

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, in honor of President Obama telling us that we had to gay marry each other, we brought on Burnsy for a special, same-sex wedding edition of HOTT GOSS™, including our picks for who we would gay marry. SPOILER ALERT: It turns out John Travolta has monkey feet. Then we talk about Miley Cyrus’s wildly successful new film, LOL, and compare her actual voice to the voice you hear on her CDs, which, surprisingly, are wildly different. Later on, we bring on Laremy so that we can make fun of his morning show appearance, then talk Dark Shadows, The Avengers, Girls, trying not to turn into Peter Travers, and even get earnest-ish about politics before it all explodes in a hail of giggles. Jeez, that went downhill fast.

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes (leave us a review!). Email us at Frotcast@Gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030.

NOTE: There’s some dead air between 14:37 and 15:22 right now that will be there until I can re-edit and re-upload. Apologies.

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Walt Disney’s Taxi Driver & Your Morning Links

05.10.12 Written by AMB

It’s like a darker version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? [via HYST]

MORNING LINKS
This Week in Posters and Stills: Apatow characters be poopin’, Madea gets Levy |Film Drunk|

Jon Hamm Answers Questions From Teenage Girls, Continues To Be Good At Everything |UPROXX|

ROFLMNBAO: A Tribute To The Many Faces Of Tyler Hansbrough |With Leather|

10 Songs Celebrating May, National Masturbation Month |Smoking Section|

Michael Bay’s Transformers Summarized In One Minute Of Brilliance |Gamma Squad|

Picture via

Ron Swanson Should Be a Judge on ‘The Voice’ |Warming Glow|

Sofia Vergara is Single |TheSuperficial|

21 Ways To Hide Your Booze And Drugs |Buzzfeed|

Could Humans Hibernate? |Mentalfloss|

A Guide to Lunchtime Social Groups, Through Life |College Humor|

Rejected Fox Headlines For Obama Backing Gay Marriage |HuffPost Comedy|

Cover of Super Mario Bros. 3 Soundtrack |TheDailyWhat|

In the “I knew it all along” department, that “revenge-filled dentist pulled out ex-boyfriend’s teeth” article was a hoax |Fark|

FilmDrunk Favorite Chet Haze Breaks His Legendary Silence On The Subject Of Bullying |Videogum|

The First 5 Women I’d Audition to Play A Female, Serial-Killing Version of “Dexter” |Pajiba|

Who is the Hot Girl in Motorola’s Droid RAZR Maxx Commercial? |Guy Speed|

Five Games that Are More Fun to Watch than Play |Unreality|

Film Moms That Are Worse Than That New Jersey Tanning Mom |ScreenJunkies|

Tenacious D Recruits Danny McBride As a Roadie |Brobible|

101 Reasons To Be Abstinent |NextRound|

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